Oddities and Obligations

Love and other messes.

2011-07-02T12:37:00.000-04:00

From the time we enter this world, we are bombarded with all the things that love should be. Movies, books, cartoons...they all tell us that love is some big wonderful fairy tale. Good always wins over evil, your Prince will always come...or your knight in shining armor to rescue you. That if you have a horrible Mother in Law, that somehow she will be vanquished after trying to kill you...and your man will always choose you over all else and others. Disney movies are the worst at showing us this...we have grown up with it.

We are taught that no matter what, true love prevails...that it will stick it out no matter what. We are taught that there is someone out there for everyone...a soulmate that is the perfect fit for you.

If all of this were true, then why are there so many divorces? Is it just the fact that the right one hasn't been found? Or is it that maybe, just maybe...its all bs?

In a movie I watched the other day, a quote really struck me. "Love shouldn't have to be so hard." I see so many people trying to force it to work. Is that how it's supposed to go? That it should be a struggle day in and day out where you have to remember why you are with the person to begin with?

The reality of it is that sometimes it doesn't work out. No matter what you do or how much you put into it, it just doesn't work. Does that mean the person is not meant for you? Who knows. I think that in life you just find someone who gets you. Who understands you. And if you can find that person...hold on to them. Things get rough. But you shouldn't have to wake up and remind yourself each morning of why you are with that person. You should be able to roll over, watch them sleeping....and just know.

Life as I know it.

2011-05-18T08:48:00.000-04:00

My life changed dramatically over a year ago. On April 21st...due to several events, I ended up with my niece and nephew. We are now going through the court system, with lawyers, guardian ad litems and counselors...trying to figure out what is best for them. Then there have been the doctor visits, the dentist appointments, the therapist appointments, eye appointments and the like. Things that apparently had went undone for awhile. (I think Chase doesn't want to see a drill at the dental office for a LONG TIME lol)

My life has been turned upside down, flipped sideways and then stood up on end. Why am I doing this, you ask? Because I was asked to by these two children. I know that other people assume it was differnt and that I just wanted more kids (insert crazy laugh here) but I just wanted to keep two kids safe because they asked me to.

Right now, I have temporary custody of them. We are now in the process of going through court for Legal Guardianship. Other than that I can't give any details. Just that this is what they said they wanted to me, to lawyers, and to therapists.

I can tell you about my normal days. Usually there is a meltdown or two...a few arguments. An instigating 10 year old who apparently thinks she can take down anything (product of her previous environment) and just a bunch of drama. It makes you really question your sanity when the same events seem to repeat themsevles over and over again.

Each day I wait on a phone call from the school. Yep, I know that is sad...but when you have a little ball of fury like that...you know that eventually something bad is going to happen.

Do I get frustrated? Oh yes. It just seems like any good that has been done, is completely undone with one visitation. It's frustrating to have to start all over again each week. Almost how Adam Sandler must've felt in 50 first dates. You just go through each day and hope that it ends well and that the next day doesn't pose more problems than the last.

I have been following the straight and narrow path. While being threatened via phone messages, via other people... my other family members getting rude emails and comments,,,I haven't done anything. Maybe this makes people more angry, I am not sure. But I think it's really low when you bring my parents into it. My parents have always been great people. They have helped everyone they have ever come in contact with...and for some people to besmirch them, well that makes me angry.

Going through this has taught me so much. Not only about the legal system, but also about how mean and nasty people can be. It has really opened my eyes to how people are, and how the systems work. Or in some cases, don't work.

I have to keep reminding myself that I am doing the right things and I am doing what is right. All of this happened because I wanted to protect my niece and nephew. No other reason than that...although I have heard of all the other reasons that I supposedly did this for. I did this because I was asked to. Has it been worth it? Sometimes yes, sometimes I think it keeps causing a major strain on my own family...

Would I do it again??

Yes.

There are days when I feel pretty down about it all. Then I just have to remind myself that what I am doing is for a greater good. That I am perhaps even saving a life. It helps some.

101 Things in 1001 days.

2010-12-28T21:32:00.002-05:00

I had a whole blog dedicated to this...but sadly it fell to the wayside. I think its a great idea!! So for anyone who would like to do it as well... here are the instructions!

The Mission:
Complete 101 preset tasks in a period of 1001 days.

The Criteria:
Tasks must be specific (ie. no ambiguity in the wording) with a result that is either measurable or clearly defined. Tasks must also be realistic and stretching (ie. represent some amount of work on my part).

Why 1001 Days?
Many people have created lists in the past - frequently simple goals such as New Year's resolutions. The key to beating procrastination is to set a deadline that is realistic. 1001 Days (about 2.75 years) is a better period of time than a year, because it allows you several seasons to complete the tasks, which is better for organizing and timing some tasks such as overseas trips or outdoor activities.

Why I want to do this:
Because I need some changes and this will be a way to document them!

And here is the URL of the blog I will post them on.

http://traceys101things.blogspot.com/