Its drizzling. Reminds me of the first day we saw each other. We stood there talking for what seemed like hours. The first hug. The firsts always seem so amazing.
The process of getting over someone is hard. Especially when you don't want to. I had such hopes and dreams. Maybe it's the fact that they aren't going to happen, is why it hurts so bad.
In the beginning, you were so sweet and charming. I melted over and over. I thought, this is it. This is what love is supposed to be like. I let you completely in. Something I had never done before.
I'm not sure I will ever be able to do that again.
You said it was grief that changed things. I know grief so well. I guess where you shut down, I became all feeling.
This sucks. I find myself crying at the stupidest things. And you would think that after all this time, it should be easier to accept. But how does one fully accept that the plans you made will never happen.
Initial changing. I held on to that for so long. That and you said you mean what you say and say what you mean. It wasn't enough was it?
You stopped saying you loved me. Stopped being nice. Just became this angry heartless person. I guess what hurt the most is that you didn't even try to understand how much you hurt me.
Yeah, I know you will never read this...but I need it out. I need the words out there so I can read them. So I can understand and not make the mistake again.
Lessons learned.
